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Who to know? What to wear? Where to go? When to arrive?

Why is this so confusing? Entering a new career can be unsettling, to say the least. An entirely new generation of workers is embarking on this experience now, many with more questions than answers. In some cases, on-the-job experience is radically different from expectations built up during college – different from anything ever experienced before, for that matter.

For some entry-level job seekers, professional careers could even be considered unfamiliar ground, often because they have no examples to look up to in their own lives. This is one reason many companies are establishing formal mentoring programs within their organizations. Such programs have become a way to increase company diversity while providing employees with career development assistance, a sense of belonging, and ultimately, incentive to remain with the company longer.

“You can learn from the mistakes of others by listening to those who have been through decades of experience that you haven’t yet,” said Alan Sklover, senior partner in Manhattan-based Sklover and Donath law firm. Sklover has provided informal career counseling for everyone from interns to executives and provided plenty of mentoring along the way as well.

“If they can possibly learn from the mistakes I’ve made and the successes I’ve had, it’s a tremendous advantage for them,” Sklover said. While he is careful not to dictate to his mentees the decisions they should make, Sklover does listen and offer advice based on his past experiences in similar situations. “There’s no substitute for experience in yielding good judgment,” he said.

For college students who are just selecting their field of choice, an internship can be the perfect way to find a mentor. In addition to gaining real-world work experience, interns may emerge with newly-formed professional relationships and access to more seasoned perspectives on life and work. These mentor-mentee relationships offer invaluable advice and could even lead to a better job after graduation. In the emerging tech-obsessed culture that often confounds veteran professionals, the benefits of the mentor-mentee relationship can be a two-way street.

“I think a senior-level executive can learn as much from a young professional as the young professional can learn from the executive,” said Phyllis Eagle-Oldson, president and CEO of the Emma L. Bowen Foundation. The foundation places minority college students in five-year work-study programs to experience different specialty areas within various media fields. Several of the students helped by the Emma Bowen Foundation are gearing up to be first-generation professionals, according to Eagle-Oldson. Their childhood upbringing did not include education on office politics, appropriate office attire, networking and building up a resume. Getting that education, one way or another, is key to success in the workplace. If not through the Emma Bowen Foundation, Eagle-Oldson recommended that students and young professionals find mentors through industry-specific networking organizations.

“Building those mentoring relationships gives them the opportunity to ask those career questions,” she said. There are, however, some unspoken rules for young professionals to abide by when it comes to mentor-mentee relationships.

Keep it professional
The mentor-mentee relationship should be kept business-like and professional. Avoid discussing too many personal details, and stick primarily to business matters. If the relationship becomes too personal, know when to move on. A mentee might also want to move on if there are personality conflicts or when there is no more new, constructive advice to be had; perhaps because the mentee has been in the field long enough to gain his or her own understanding. Don’t burn the bridge, but stop requesting meetings and advice, and you could even seek a new mentor in the meantime.

Don’t smother
A good mentor who is still actively working will probably be extremely busy. Avoid smothering the person with phone calls and e-mails at every turn on each little detail. Try to figure some things out on your own, but jot down any questions that stump you and then schedule a discussion time. You might e-mail or talk on the phone once a week, or you might even do coffee or lunch. However you meet your mentor, do it on their schedule and their terms and be prepared with your questions and a recorder or notepad in hand. Mentors typically volunteer their time because someone once helped them, making them want to help a person succeed in return. Nevertheless, it is valuable time out of their busy schedule, so use it wisely.

Don’t argue
This mentor is taking time out to give you real-world advice. It may not jive with what you learned in college or what someone else told you, but it is an opinion often based on actual experiences. Try to take any criticism or disagreement constructively, not personally. Doing so will help you successfully navigate the who, what, where, when and why of the professional world.

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